The Day The World Turned Tail
by Crystallline
Summary: Why was it that when people were drunk, they were scary? Oh wait, please, no, don't answer that. It's too scary to know. Crack, ooc-ness, and crack pairing. wait no, more like interactions between them.
1. RusAme

**A new story, yay :D This is mainly a drabble series of crack. If any of you read that one-shot of Drunk!Japan from me, I think you guys can tell how scary I write drunk countries. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.**

**Hetalia is not and never will be mine.**

**R&R!**

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><p>Rusame(The only non crack ship)<p>

It was an ordinary day for the two nations of America and Russia. The two have finally decided to try to become friends, and hey, what better way then too go to a bar and drink?

Which is why Russia is currently chugging down bottles of vodka like no tomorrow and the blonde watching with am amused face.

"Haha, dude, you should like calm down,"America inquired, slapping the Russian on the back, hard."I wouldn't want you destroying a country while you were drunk, ahahaha."

Russia giggled and hiccuped."Silly American,"He countered,"I drink vodka every day. 48% of alcohol each bottle, I wont get drunk easily."

"If you say so dude, don't blame me when you kill a country."America laughed and stopped the slapping, going back to looking at his jug of beer in front of him and then to Russia's 8th bottle of vodka.

"You and your silly predictions, my comrades are hilarious, hahaha-"Thump. America jolted over to see Russia face planting the counter. Silent and motionless. Glazed bronze hair splattered all over the place and America eventually had to poke him to check him."... Dude? Are you okay? ... Dude?"

"America, where the bloody hell is Russia? We know you two were hanging out today so answer me."A thick accent of Brit was laced onto the call, as America smiled at his phone with bright blue eyes, knowing England could see his smile from his nation.

"Ah, about that, I kinda buried Russia because he died y'know? He took too much alcohol and died then and there,"Informed the American."That commi literally went SPLAT!"

On the other side, England facepalmed."Dear mother of god-"

"Its the truth! Why are you so hard to trust me?"Pouted American as he leaned on his shovel that he had used to create and hole for Russia to lay peacefully in. England hissed at him,"Because your stories are unbelievable to believe!"And with that the Brit hung up.

America sighed, at least he could keep this a secret.

Meanwhile inside a wooden coffin...  
>Glazed bronze hair shifted inside the box, moving around as to observe the area. Russia had awoken."Ara? Where am I?"He asked to no one in particular.<p>

"Oh! I've been in this situation before! Someone buried me."Russia hummed and checked his nails for a bit, checking them carefully."This should be easy..."

He retracted his arm to gain some force, before punching the box and shredding some to oblivion. Noises of cracking were heard above ground and American perked up.

"Da, lets try that again!"With another punch again in the dirt, Russia was quickly digging his way up. America on the other hand, was quickly tensing up at the noises of the earth pounding rapidly.

"Aw man, this is just like those horror movies where the zombies come up!"He whined, a look in his face that told that he was terrified. Each pound on the dirt made a hair even more tense and the American was now visibly shaking.

"SURPRISE BITCH."A familiar Russian voice yelled.

So when he saw a hand crash up onto the surface, all curved in a claw-like pose, He screamed to the world.

"AIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

Somewhere in the world, England heard a girl scream bloody murder but dismissed it.


	2. PruNor

**When I said this is crack I meant it.**

**R&R~!**

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><p>PruNor<p>

Walking through the streets of Berlin, the Norwegian country gazed at the German architecture that stood proudly on the ground.

Norway took in the interesting concept that the Germans had and made a note to himself to compliment Germany on his work. It was certainly a nice view to see after the chaos in the world meeting.

But his little scenery was interrupted by a certain albino retired country.

"Hey gurrrrllllll~"Prussia slurred as he wobbled his way over to Norway, who kept his usual face intact.

_Does he really think I'm a girl?_

"Hey, I'm a pirate and I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?"

_He does think I'm a girl._

"Kesesese! Are you a fine piece of art because I'd nail you to the wall."

_... Is he flirting with me?_

"I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus."

_Is that alcohol I smell on him too?_

"My love for you is like diarrhea, it never stops."

_... Best be leaving then._

Norway turned around from the drunken Prussia and started walking away. Although Prussia wasn't having that as he snuck in one last line.

"Is your phone in your back pocket? Because that ass is calling me! Kesese!"

Norway couldn't help but come back and choke Prussia on his tie.


End file.
